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That’s it for the weekend!  The ending to a great week.

It might have started off as a fairly ordinary week in my new sober life, but it has culminated into something else.  What that something else is I am not sure yet.  It will probably take some time to figure that out.  But I know that I feel great and I expect greatness from myself.

Monday and Tuesday are my days off.  Tomorrow I will leave the lake and head back to my apartment, and my high speed internet 🙂  That means I can spend some time working on new project ideas and exploring some of the blogs in the sober blogosphere.

Tuesday will be day 50 of abstinence from alcohol.  I’m stoked about this.  This is much longer than I have ever been able to go before.  It just feels like I’m going to keep on going.  Heck, the plan is to go the rest of my life.  I have removed alcohol from the picture and have no intention to ever include it back in.

Besides the usual stuff on my days off I’m thinking maybe I should do something special to celebrate day 50.  Not sure what yet.  My first thought is to go for a drive.  There is a town a few hours north of where I live that I have been meaning to check out.  It’s supposed to be pretty cool.  I’ll have to mull this one over.  Not sure what I will do yet.

With the approach of day 50 and my burgeoning good mood it feels like I’m in new beginning type territory.  I would like to think that July 23rd was the first day of the rest of my life.  (I call July 23rd S-Day).  Now it seems that life is knocking on the door and ready for some excitement, fun and some good old fashioned work as well.

Hello life!  Nice to meet you!  I apologize for keeping you hidden behind that veil of alcohol for so long.  Let me make it up to you.  Here, have a cool glass of iced tea.  I suggest you take a deep breath…  A very deep breath…  Good.  That is a beginning.

– BST

Ok, so I am not on the super positive high I was on yesterday, hehe 🙂  I finally floated back down to the surface of the Earth sometime this morning LOL.  Still, I’m in a great mood, relatively.

I decided that with this post I would flesh in a little bit more info about my daily life.  I know that being an anonymous blog I keep things pretty vague, but sometimes that might be a bit confusing so I figured that I should explain at least a few things.

You may have noticed in previous posts that I keep mentioning “going to the lake”.  This refers to my Grandmothers house.  Here is the deal.  I’m a city boy.  Lived there my whole life.  My Grandmother lives by a very small town out in the country about an hour and a half away.  She lives in a nice house on a great point of land on a beautiful lake.  This is the house her and Grandpa retired in.

Now she is 92 years old and still living at home alone.  We always came over to visit at least a few times a year.  Starting a few years back I began to visit more often.  I was coming up once or twice a month to help her out with things.  Since I was the only one in the family who never got married and had kids I had the flexibility to do this.

Two years ago I made a big decision.  I left everything behind in the cities and moved out into the country to live with Grandma.  Within a few months of that I was working again and moved into my own apartment in another small town that is just 12 miles away from Grandmas place.

I just got a new job about two months ago and it happens to be in the town by my Grandma.  So now I am driving over to her neck of the woods 5 days or more a week.  Monday and Tuesday are my days off.  The new routine that is starting to develop is that I stay at my apartment during the week and then spend a 3 day weekend with Grandma so it saves gas cutting out 3 trips back to my town.  Plus, I’m spending much more time with Grandma now.

This works great for her as well.  Now that I am coming over every week and spending multiple days at a time I can help her out a lot.  We go shopping, I help around the house and yard.  All that kind of stuff.  And of course we have our time just hanging out.

So, in previous posts when I made mention of going to the lake, or being at the lake, I’m talking about when I am staying at Grandmas.  She does not have Internet so I tether my cell phone to my laptop.  It’s not the best connection, but it is good enough to blog while I am at the lake.  That works because the blog really is the only thing where I need the laptop because I am typing so much.  Most everything else I just do from my phone.  Facebook, email etc.

This current arrangement has been great when you add sobriety in the mix.  I’m obviously much more useful and mindful with my Grandma  🙂  I also enjoy the serene environment here at the lake.

In the 90’s before my drinking crushed most everything I was high flying with the tech boom.  I mostly did Web site development and some other Web related programming and database work.  I did a lot of freelance work because I also produced the graphic designs and layout which allowed me to be sort of a one man show.  As one of my hobbies I pursue photography.

This is why the sober blogging community and the idea of starting my own blog appealed to me on so many levels.  I’m an Internet techno super geek.  It’s just that alcohol shattered all those pursuits, and only now am I starting to pick up the pieces.  Where the fuck did the last decade go?  Sheeeesh.

This blog has been a great start, but now it is time for me to really shake off the rust and re-train myself on the current development languages.  It’s also time for me to fire up my graphic editing programs and start practicing that too.  I plan on getting back into Web development in a big way.  I’m going to start at least one other blog along these lines.  I’m also interested in moving into such areas as Android app development and tying my photography and graphic work into all of it.

Writing is another area of interest for me so the blog was a platform I could use for practice.  As I expand in this area I am sure I will be writing more outside of just this blog.

So there you have it.  Just a little background that I thought would help shed some light on what the hell I’m talking about in my blog some days 😉

P.S.  The massive sugar cravings that consumed me for a few weeks seem to have abated.  I’m eating fairly normal again and already lost the 10 pounds I gained.  That’s a good feeling.

P.P.S.  The Loons are calling outside.  I love the haunting sound of their call.

– BST

So I told you all how I had a pretty good day yesterday.  Today was even better!  In fact, I feel like I just walked right out of my old life and into a new one.  Things are changing baby!

I took care of some more errands early today.  Then I went for another nice walk.  By the time I rolled into work I was on another planet.  Through little baby steps I have already accomplished more in the past two days than I would usually do in weeks.  My motivation is spiking.  My mood is awesome.  I want to keep this up.

Now it is time to move beyond just baby steps and start leaping, jumping, running and grabbing that brass fucking ring that I’ve been scared of my whole life.

Time to brush the dust off some of those grand plans that I have stashed away.  I already know that the typical life is not for me.  I already know that I do not fit into the machine the way the controllers would like.  It’s time to start using that to my advantage, rather than allowing it to be an obstruction.

Some of the work I do will never make it into the pages of this blog.  Because this blog is my anonymous therapy blog I probably won’t get into a lot of detail about my business plans.  I will be starting some other blogs as part of these projects, but that will be in my other life, not this anonymous one.  If things go well I will let you all know of course 🙂

I’m still in love with LDR “Summertime Sadness” but the new Katy Perry song “Roar” has jumped to the top of my playlist this week and it is becoming my new personal theme song.

Katy Perry has a few songs that I find to be inspirational, but her new one is seriously off the chain.  Here is a link below to the video on YouTube.  Now, the video is a bit cheesy.  It’s fun to watch but I recommend listening to the song without watching the video so that you can focus on the lyrics and let the power of her voice feed your passion and inspire you like it did me.

Katy Perry “Roar”

– BST

 

So today was the second day of moving my buddy into his new place.  Uh, it certainly did not go as smooth as yesterday LOL.

We had everything set to drive over to his other place to pick up the stuff, then my truck starting acting up.  The transmission was slipping, the speedometer stopped working, and the dreaded “Check Engine” light came on.  We pondered what to do next.  At first, thinking that it was still able to drive we should just get it over to a shop.  Then my buddy suggested that we stop by the “Auto Zone” car part store first, since it was very close.

We made it to Auto Zone where they do computer checks for free.  They scanned the system and it came up saying “faulty speed control sensor”.  My buddy and I hopped into the truck, jumped on our smart phones, and in about 10 minutes became experts on the location and method for replacing the sensor via a mix of YouTube videos and forums 🙂  Thank God for the Internet!

The part was $67, and after about half an hour tinkering around on my back under the car we got that damn thing replaced and it worked!!

There are certain things in life that give most men a sense of masculinity.  Like grilling a steak, mowing the lawn, or killing that dastardly spider.  I think that fixing a car ranks pretty high on that list. LOL 🙂

After the car fiasco we hit the reset button and went back to the moving plan.  Everything worked out great!  We finished the move, and I still had plenty of daylight left for my drive back into the country.  I love the city, but I also love coming back home to my small town.

Overall pretty awesome day.  We overcame adversity.   Sober!    Que the weekend!!!

Out

– BST

I’m back at the lake for a few days.  I figured out how to tether my phone to the laptop so now instead of writing blog posts from my phone I am able to get my laptop online.  It’s been a few years since I have played around with phone tethering.  I’m still using the same program.  PDA.net.  It’s a great app/program combo for tethering.  The connection speed and latency seem a lot better than last time I experimented with this.  This is decent.  Well, that is awesome.  Now I have dependable Internet and computer resources I can use while at the lake.  Nice!  🙂

Had a decent night at work.  Seems like everything just goes by in a blur lately.  I swear, the moment I hit 40 it was like someone put the time stream on fast forward.  Sometimes it is a bit alarming.  Seeing your life fly by.  I use that feeling to try and appreciate the present moment as much as I can.  When life is cruising by, you need to spend time focusing on those little moments.

I continued to indulge in sweets this week.  Chocolate bars, cookies and peanut butter seem to have risen to the top.  I’m already looking over my shoulder with the sugar thing.  I know the day will come in which I will have to atone for my  sugary sins.  The excess cookies and shit make me feel kinda gunky and unhealthy.  For now, I’m still 100% focused on sobriety from alcohol, but within the next few weeks to a month I think some dietary changes may need to go into effect.

I better get to bed.  Night!

– BST

Another weekend is here!  Already!  🙂  Time just seems to fly.

Today is day 19 of sobriety.  I’m looking forward to day 25 of the 100 day challenge!

I could not think of much to write about the past couple days.  Maybe I will have to branch out a bit and muse on other things besides just the daily journey of sobriety.

Weather has been beautiful here all week.  Heading back to the lake for 3 days.  This time I’m going to bring the laptop and see if I can tether my cell phone to it for Internet access.  Then I can type some more posts from the laptop rather than my phone.

Everyone have a great weekend!

– BST

After yesterdays “boring” post I kind of expected more of the same today.  I was wrong!  Today has been awesome times 10!  🙂

I’m 10 days sober now.  It’s all good.  Just let me have my sugar for now and we can call it even.  Actually, at one point during the day instead of eating some cookies I elected to chop up a nectarine.  I can’t even remember the last time I’ve had a nectarine.  It was damn good.

I’ll start with the mundane first.  Last night after writing my blog I spent a good deal of time visiting other blogs in the sober blogging realm.  I was commenting and “liking” as I went.  Read a lot of good stuff.  After that I decided it was TV time.  A friend recommended a show called “Life”.  I looked it up on my Amazon Prime account and saw that it was free.  Sweet.  I watched the first three episodes.  This is a great show!  It felt appropriate for someone in my state of alcoholic recovery.

It’s about a cop who is framed for murder and put away for life.  12 years later he is proven innocent and let out of prison.  He also gets a very large sum of money.  He goes right back to being a detective.  It’s your usual detective drama, but the main character is pretty cool.  He practices a Zen attitude, always working to be in the moment.  He also eats a lot of fruit.  I recommend it.

Moving on to today.  Day 10 has been good.  It was gorgeous out today.  One of the benefits of working second shift is that I can get out during the day.  I walked down to the lake and sat on the beach in the sun and just meditated.  It was very relaxing, and very good.  Got some sun on my skin 🙂  I’ll put up some pics of the lake at the end of the post.

It was a good day at work.  I’m starting to feel more comfortable at the new job.  That is always a nice feeling.  This job is pretty low stress and that helps a lot.

When I came home from work is when things really took off.  I noticed a lot of activity in my inbox that is tied into this blog.  I fired up WordPress and was pleasantly surprised when I saw that my daily stats had just blown up!  All that commenting and “liking” I did the night before on other blogs certainly attracted attention!

There was a comment from Paul.  He writes a blog called Message in a Bottle.  I had not seen this blog before.  I clicked on over to check it out.  Holy Shit!!!!!  Ummm, Paul has one helluva blog!  Not only was I riveted by the content in his posts, but his level of writing acumen is ridiculous!  Besides therapy, and a way to connect to the sober blogging community, I am writing this blog as a daily form of practice.  I want to get better at writing.  Paul’s blog has inspired and moved me.

What started as a blogging experiment, a shot in the dark at alternative therapy, has turned into the beginning of a journey that I already feel is changing, and will continue to change my life.  I am thankful to all the people out there writing these blogs.  I add my own story into the mix hoping that someday I can also be of help.  This will not just be therapy and writing practice for myself.  This could also be a gift to others.

Rock on!

– BST

PS.  A shout out to the Tired of Thinking About Drinking blog.  It was the first blog on sobriety that I have ever read.  It inspired me, and the very next day I started this blog.

PPS.  I found said blog because of an article on The Fix.  Here is the article.  Blogging Myself Sober.  It was written by the author of the Drunky Drunk Girl blog.  Thanx DDG for putting that article out there, you really started it all for me.

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