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Small Town

That’s it for the weekend!  The ending to a great week.

It might have started off as a fairly ordinary week in my new sober life, but it has culminated into something else.  What that something else is I am not sure yet.  It will probably take some time to figure that out.  But I know that I feel great and I expect greatness from myself.

Monday and Tuesday are my days off.  Tomorrow I will leave the lake and head back to my apartment, and my high speed internet 🙂  That means I can spend some time working on new project ideas and exploring some of the blogs in the sober blogosphere.

Tuesday will be day 50 of abstinence from alcohol.  I’m stoked about this.  This is much longer than I have ever been able to go before.  It just feels like I’m going to keep on going.  Heck, the plan is to go the rest of my life.  I have removed alcohol from the picture and have no intention to ever include it back in.

Besides the usual stuff on my days off I’m thinking maybe I should do something special to celebrate day 50.  Not sure what yet.  My first thought is to go for a drive.  There is a town a few hours north of where I live that I have been meaning to check out.  It’s supposed to be pretty cool.  I’ll have to mull this one over.  Not sure what I will do yet.

With the approach of day 50 and my burgeoning good mood it feels like I’m in new beginning type territory.  I would like to think that July 23rd was the first day of the rest of my life.  (I call July 23rd S-Day).  Now it seems that life is knocking on the door and ready for some excitement, fun and some good old fashioned work as well.

Hello life!  Nice to meet you!  I apologize for keeping you hidden behind that veil of alcohol for so long.  Let me make it up to you.  Here, have a cool glass of iced tea.  I suggest you take a deep breath…  A very deep breath…  Good.  That is a beginning.

– BST

Ok, so I am not on the super positive high I was on yesterday, hehe 🙂  I finally floated back down to the surface of the Earth sometime this morning LOL.  Still, I’m in a great mood, relatively.

I decided that with this post I would flesh in a little bit more info about my daily life.  I know that being an anonymous blog I keep things pretty vague, but sometimes that might be a bit confusing so I figured that I should explain at least a few things.

You may have noticed in previous posts that I keep mentioning “going to the lake”.  This refers to my Grandmothers house.  Here is the deal.  I’m a city boy.  Lived there my whole life.  My Grandmother lives by a very small town out in the country about an hour and a half away.  She lives in a nice house on a great point of land on a beautiful lake.  This is the house her and Grandpa retired in.

Now she is 92 years old and still living at home alone.  We always came over to visit at least a few times a year.  Starting a few years back I began to visit more often.  I was coming up once or twice a month to help her out with things.  Since I was the only one in the family who never got married and had kids I had the flexibility to do this.

Two years ago I made a big decision.  I left everything behind in the cities and moved out into the country to live with Grandma.  Within a few months of that I was working again and moved into my own apartment in another small town that is just 12 miles away from Grandmas place.

I just got a new job about two months ago and it happens to be in the town by my Grandma.  So now I am driving over to her neck of the woods 5 days or more a week.  Monday and Tuesday are my days off.  The new routine that is starting to develop is that I stay at my apartment during the week and then spend a 3 day weekend with Grandma so it saves gas cutting out 3 trips back to my town.  Plus, I’m spending much more time with Grandma now.

This works great for her as well.  Now that I am coming over every week and spending multiple days at a time I can help her out a lot.  We go shopping, I help around the house and yard.  All that kind of stuff.  And of course we have our time just hanging out.

So, in previous posts when I made mention of going to the lake, or being at the lake, I’m talking about when I am staying at Grandmas.  She does not have Internet so I tether my cell phone to my laptop.  It’s not the best connection, but it is good enough to blog while I am at the lake.  That works because the blog really is the only thing where I need the laptop because I am typing so much.  Most everything else I just do from my phone.  Facebook, email etc.

This current arrangement has been great when you add sobriety in the mix.  I’m obviously much more useful and mindful with my Grandma  🙂  I also enjoy the serene environment here at the lake.

In the 90’s before my drinking crushed most everything I was high flying with the tech boom.  I mostly did Web site development and some other Web related programming and database work.  I did a lot of freelance work because I also produced the graphic designs and layout which allowed me to be sort of a one man show.  As one of my hobbies I pursue photography.

This is why the sober blogging community and the idea of starting my own blog appealed to me on so many levels.  I’m an Internet techno super geek.  It’s just that alcohol shattered all those pursuits, and only now am I starting to pick up the pieces.  Where the fuck did the last decade go?  Sheeeesh.

This blog has been a great start, but now it is time for me to really shake off the rust and re-train myself on the current development languages.  It’s also time for me to fire up my graphic editing programs and start practicing that too.  I plan on getting back into Web development in a big way.  I’m going to start at least one other blog along these lines.  I’m also interested in moving into such areas as Android app development and tying my photography and graphic work into all of it.

Writing is another area of interest for me so the blog was a platform I could use for practice.  As I expand in this area I am sure I will be writing more outside of just this blog.

So there you have it.  Just a little background that I thought would help shed some light on what the hell I’m talking about in my blog some days 😉

P.S.  The massive sugar cravings that consumed me for a few weeks seem to have abated.  I’m eating fairly normal again and already lost the 10 pounds I gained.  That’s a good feeling.

P.P.S.  The Loons are calling outside.  I love the haunting sound of their call.

– BST

After work tonight I hit the festival.  Once again I passed on buying a wrist band for the beer garden.  I sat on a wall for a bit watching the band over the fence and quickly determined that they were a pretty shitty cover band.

Did a few more laps walking around the festival and the carnival area, then stopped into the bar.  I had a really good time tonight.  With the festival going on the bar was busier, and very lively.  I met some new people, and chatted with a lot of my old friends.

I rolled with ginger ale again tonight.  I get the feeling that I’m going to turn into a ginger ale aficionado.  That and tea hehe.

The festival was a good test.  This event is completely designed around alcohol consumption.  I saw a shitload of hammered people, and I’m sure I’ll see more the rest of the weekend.  The temptation was there.  It was not a sharp temptation.  It was in the background, kinda dull.  It was also fleeting.  Within moments it would go away.

As the night went on I got stronger and felt better.  At the end of the night I relaxed on the bench outside in front of my apartment.  There were drunk people stumbling up and down main street and a few that could no longer walk being dragged by their friends.  Watching this at the end of the night always gives me a sense of strength.  It reminds me of what I don’t want to be.  Yes, it is always rewarding at the end.

Well, I managed to stay up VERY late tonight hehe.  It’s 4am.  *yawns*.  Oh btw that means I have officially passed the 1 month mark!!

– BST

My town starts its yearly, 4 day, huge festival tomorrow.  I haven’t been thinking about it that much.  In fact it kinda snuck up on me!  We live in a tourist town that attracts a lot of out of towners the year round.  The festival will bring in droves.

The festival will be in my face because I live on main street, smack dab in the middle of town.  In previous years I would have been fantasizing for weeks about the drunken debauchery that would ensue once the festival kicks off.

I’m still going to enjoy it.  I’m still going to love living on main street and being in the middle of it all when the big crowds come in.  Instead of making lunch, I’ll just walk out my front door and eat festival food for four days LOL 🙂

I’m not going to be buying any wrist bands this year.  I bet I’m gonna save around 200 bucks participating in the festival sober  😉  The money will go to festival food, a few beverages and maaaaaybe a carnival game or two.  Hey!  I can play a carnival game if I want!  I think I’m saving enough on the beer!  ;-p  Oh, and I can get a T-shirt with the saved money too!

When the festival kicks into full gear over the weekend I will be passing into month two of sobriety.  A festival to celebrate my one month!  Perfect timing!  🙂

 

Day 26.  I’m past the quarter mark for the 100 day challenge!

Still going strong!  Temptations to drink have not been a problem.  The only thing I have really noticed within the last week or so is that I do feel different.  Like I’m a different person.  Now I have to take some time to get to know that person 🙂

I don’t always feel good.  I didn’t turn into a sobriety super hero by any means.  I just feel different.  I find my self doing things I usually would not have done in the past.

I have not been to the bar since that first visit a couple weeks ago.  It was fine.  I just find that I’m not hanging at the bar as much right now LOL 🙂  Last night after work I was thinking that I would stop in again.  I got home from work and chilled for a bit, and then went out for a late night walk.  I did a loop around one part of town, and then came back around towards the bar.  I saw some drunk people around main street.  I could hear unruly sounding drunk people from the bar as I approached.  This was right around midnight and things in town were hoppin.

I stopped.  Thought about things a little bit.  Stared up at the moon a little bit.  Aaaaaaand, just kept on walking hehe 🙂  The bar sounded annoying as hell!!!  I just didn’t want to deal with it.  I took a longer loop walk around the other side of town instead.  It was a beautiful night out.

Randomly walking around in the middle of the night is something I would have done when I was 18.  It felt funny doing it.  I saw the town from a different perspective.  Then I rolled up on the canning plant.  This place is huge.  During the summer it runs 24/7.  I looked up at a giant conveyer belt that was dumping green beans.  Like some weirdo I just stood there on the curb after midnight staring at green beans falling through the air.  After a few minutes of this I had attracted the attention of a few workers inside so I decided to move on 🙂

I felt kinda good when I went to bed last night.  I guess walking was more relaxing than the bar idea 🙂

We’ll see what Saturday night brings!

– BST

Here is a not very good picture of the bean plant.  This is just one building.  The whole place is huge.

So today was the second day of moving my buddy into his new place.  Uh, it certainly did not go as smooth as yesterday LOL.

We had everything set to drive over to his other place to pick up the stuff, then my truck starting acting up.  The transmission was slipping, the speedometer stopped working, and the dreaded “Check Engine” light came on.  We pondered what to do next.  At first, thinking that it was still able to drive we should just get it over to a shop.  Then my buddy suggested that we stop by the “Auto Zone” car part store first, since it was very close.

We made it to Auto Zone where they do computer checks for free.  They scanned the system and it came up saying “faulty speed control sensor”.  My buddy and I hopped into the truck, jumped on our smart phones, and in about 10 minutes became experts on the location and method for replacing the sensor via a mix of YouTube videos and forums 🙂  Thank God for the Internet!

The part was $67, and after about half an hour tinkering around on my back under the car we got that damn thing replaced and it worked!!

There are certain things in life that give most men a sense of masculinity.  Like grilling a steak, mowing the lawn, or killing that dastardly spider.  I think that fixing a car ranks pretty high on that list. LOL 🙂

After the car fiasco we hit the reset button and went back to the moving plan.  Everything worked out great!  We finished the move, and I still had plenty of daylight left for my drive back into the country.  I love the city, but I also love coming back home to my small town.

Overall pretty awesome day.  We overcame adversity.   Sober!    Que the weekend!!!

Out

– BST

I’m back at the lake for a few days.  I figured out how to tether my phone to the laptop so now instead of writing blog posts from my phone I am able to get my laptop online.  It’s been a few years since I have played around with phone tethering.  I’m still using the same program.  PDA.net.  It’s a great app/program combo for tethering.  The connection speed and latency seem a lot better than last time I experimented with this.  This is decent.  Well, that is awesome.  Now I have dependable Internet and computer resources I can use while at the lake.  Nice!  🙂

Had a decent night at work.  Seems like everything just goes by in a blur lately.  I swear, the moment I hit 40 it was like someone put the time stream on fast forward.  Sometimes it is a bit alarming.  Seeing your life fly by.  I use that feeling to try and appreciate the present moment as much as I can.  When life is cruising by, you need to spend time focusing on those little moments.

I continued to indulge in sweets this week.  Chocolate bars, cookies and peanut butter seem to have risen to the top.  I’m already looking over my shoulder with the sugar thing.  I know the day will come in which I will have to atone for my  sugary sins.  The excess cookies and shit make me feel kinda gunky and unhealthy.  For now, I’m still 100% focused on sobriety from alcohol, but within the next few weeks to a month I think some dietary changes may need to go into effect.

I better get to bed.  Night!

– BST

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